On Purpose
Today the web site is 1 year old! I want to celebrate! And I want all the "not enough" gremlins that like to have their way with me to just shut up for once! Why is it so much easier for me to look at what isn't than what is? What is, is awesome! I put the Peace Cabaret on the site; a production we did during the Season of Peace 06 at Spiritual Life Center. I got so on fire for doing another one there this Season, and had the exciting vision to invite involvement from all ages, the whole congregation. I was in such bliss with it for a minute but then my proposal hit the brick wall as I was the only one who wanted to run with it. Sooooooooo, another opportunity to celebrate anyway ~ celebrate the idea, the energy, the possibilities. And reaffirm divine order ... always a challenge when it seems out of order. Then, I was on a conference call through the Association for Global New Thought with some great human beings across the country all working with different aspects of peace education and youth. There is so much to celebrate! And even when I don't really know why I get on fire for things that aren't to be, or when I just keep going along the best I can feeling like it's not right or I'm not right ~ as in too scattered, not focused, not enough .... STOP! PEACE BEGINS WITH ME! The main Cabaret I must perform this Season is the ongoing self love one ... for truly, how can I be Love in action in this world if I am not able to love me? I do love me and for that I celebrate! I am following my visions for the web site and New Thought Families and everything else in my life to the best of me and I keep surrendering to know what is mine to do and to let go of the rest. It is a celebration when others have their brick walls and help me with my boundries. It is a celebration to connect with so many fine folks who are all following their visions. We are all on purpose. And it is good. It is very, very good. Thank you God.

When Pain Talks
We went to play in the snow on Sunday. Jeremiah got a bloody lip the first run and then proceeded to wipe out the next 4 or 5 consecutive runs. As I consoled him, I was more determined than ever that I wasn't going to take any chances of getting hurt myself! When we were leaving, walking to the car, I slipped on the ice and landed on my head. A blast of light went off in my head followed by lots of blue stars and lots of pain. After the initial shock and taking stock of the throbbing pain, I took 800 milligrams of ivy prophen ~ more than I ever took at once before. Long story shorter, my neck swelled up and the pain hadn't subsided after many such 800 mil infusions so this morning, I just had a conversation with the pain. In my morning prayers and meditation, I just surrendered to it and said, "I want to learn what you are here to teach. I want to know why you are here." Now, I have been "talking" to my body pain for a lot of my life after breaking my neck at a pretty early age and living with chronic pain. But the messages this morning were intense and deep and much more about emotional pain than physical reasoning. It seems my body is reflecting back these emotional wounds and so I spent some time with them and with me and felt so much better. To top it all off, I went to the dentist and actually experienced more healing than pain (well, o.k., the "gas" helped a lot!). We live in a very complex and yet simple vehicle for our Spirit. I have had new awareness and yes, pain, I am listening.
Prayers Unanswered?
A beautiful friend we knew through the Spiritual Life Center lost his battle with cancer and made his transition. Jeremiah had prayed for him every day for months. We begin our day in the "Prayer Chair" and Jeremiah is quite consistent about praying for people. He prayed in earnest every day for Willie's healing. When I told him that Willie had gone, Jeremiah was filled with those questions of why and especially why didn't God hear or answer his prayers. I told him that God always hears and answers but that sometimes the answers don't look like what we think they should look like. Willie's healing was apparently to leave his body and the planet. This led to a discussion of one of my daily prayers ... every day I pray for my soul mate, our "special man", the one who is my life partner and Jeremiah's "dyno dad". Some days it feels real and some days feels more like empty words but I choose to believe in us and pray for him and pray for us anyway. Often, I'll say something like, "I send you the hope of us, the kiss of us, the truth of us ..." For hundreds and hundreds of days, I have prayed ... and also prayed for my healing and his healing and for letting go of blocks or resistance or anything else I could think of. So is it an unanswered prayer? Or is the answer simply no? I just find it beyond comprehension that on this big planet, there isn't one for me ... meanwhile, what has Jeremiah gotten out of all of this? Is it wrong to pray my heart's desires with my 7 year old? I really don't know. And what I really don't know is how to hide my heart's desires .. especially when I'm praying! It is a blessing to pray and to pray for others and part of that blessing must be to pray as to love ~ unconditionally ... without attachment to the answer whether it be yes, no, or even if the answer lies in the silent treatment?!

When Silence Has The Last Word

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. ~ Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
I think I have had a life long pondering about silence. I love to be in silence ~ with God, with words, with creativity. But I also have a long history of the "silent treatment" that was not nurturing and uplifting but rather painful and damaging. And I seem to perpetuate this "treatment" I suppose out of my woundedness. And so i am choosing to speak out again and again on this pondering.... The great Dr. King is such an inspiration because of his words and his heart and his mind but also just because he spoke out in the first place. What courage he had. And conviction. So often we remain silent because it is the easier thing to do. It is denial. Whether it is in our personal relationships or in our social structures, work place, community, country, international situations, it is a form of denial to remain silent. And as such, it carries it's own weight of destruction. Being ignored has been used as a form of punishment throughout the centuries, sometimes deliberately and sometimes carelessly but whether covert or overt, damage is done. I urge us all to speak our mind and heart and to always be present for one another even when it is uncomfortable. It is Love in action to be present and aware and not to let silence have the last word. Communication is a gift so let us ackowledge (that in) each other.
On Fire
The picture above is from a house fire ~ I see an angel in it, do you? The house belongs to a long time friend of mine and his 2 teenage sons he is raising. His oldest son is my God son. They are staying in a hotel, then will rent a house and rebuild theirs. Not knowing what to do for them, I said lots of prayers and made a care package with some yummy eats and a few items I hoped they would find comforting. I build alters in my rooms at home and so I gave them a few things that I would use on an alter; I don't know what they chose to do with them. I also had them for dinner and was reminded of why we don't hang out more. He is someone I hung with in what feels like a different lifetime ago and he, quite frankly, is not the kind of role model I want for Jeremiah. What I realized about his situation though ~ from my very detached place ~ is what a gift it is to start over. My friend understands this too but of course from a much different perspective. I wanted to provide them with some sort of comfort and I don't really know if I did. What I do know is that Spirit is always working in our lives, offering us opportunities to grow, change, and start over. Hopefully, we choose to do this without such a dramatic loss. I continue to pray for their comfort.
Dyno Dad
Well, the big storm was brewing and expected to be blowing in by that night. Jeremiah and I were picking up the yard, putting his toys in the endless project area of my life, better known as the garage. A downspout caught my eye and it was packed. Uh oh. I climbed up on the porch railing to inspect and sure enough the gutters were packed all the way down. Sooooooo .... I sprang into action! I got a step stool for Jeremiah and some plastic bags for him to hold my scoopings. I put in a call to Papa Joe around the corner to borrow the ladder. I moved my way along the porch railing with Jeremiah on the ready with the bag. At least 1 neighbor was witness to this puzzling technique; I thought it was OK and moving fairly smoothly. Then the ladder arrived. My Papa Joe dropped it quickly and made his departure saying something about having to go to the store for my mom. At which point I admit a welling of tears and fleeting lament for the lack of maleness in my life. Now, my "real" dad is only a few miles away and he would come in a heartbeat but he wouldn't just hold the ladder, he would insist on going up it and at 82, it's bad enough he goes up ladders at his house much less mine. So with some minor pleading, Jeremiah stayed with me through phase 2 and ladder 1. In retrospect, really all was well except I didn't put gloves on and subsequently had to nurse my "war" wounds. I repeatedly called on the angels for assurance and affirmed often "I am safe." The last section of the house was way too high for ladder 1 so I contemplated getting up on the roof. I thought long and hard with Jeremiah below calling up, "Are you going to do it? Are you going to get up on the roof?" Finally I said no and we again enlisted Papa Joe for ladder 2. It took the 2 of us to load it onto his truck and I rode in the back holding it down. Once here, he again left me to my own devices(!) which was challenging to say the least. The thing was so tall, it was all Jeremiah and I could to to position it agaisnt the house. It was during this phase, that an interesting shift happened ... I was painfully aware of my scraped up hands now, my "I am safe" affirmation was getting louder and shakier and my precious Jeremiah renamed me "Mighty Mom"! He named himself "Courageous Kid" and he said all we needed was a "Dyno Dad". A little while later as I was desending for the last time with way more gratitude than "might", a beautiful young man stopped and said he couldn't help noticing I was in an unsafe situation. Having just completed his EMT & volunteer fire training, he deemed the ladder "dysfunctional" and he was gracious enough to only name the ladder in that. He easily carried it up the yard and laid it to rest on the side of the house. Jeremiah and I both were quite taken with his strength and ease and grace of movements as well as his humanitarian good will. This might be have deepened to a great romantic story too except that he was probably 15-20 years my junior and when I asked his name, he got very flustered saying his father lived in the neighborhood and he was getting ready to move away. I assured him that I only wanted to prperly thank him for his kindness and he relaxed and left. I felt a wonderful warmth at his kindness and caring and Jeremiah exclaimed, "Wow! He was just like Dyno Dad!" And I guess he was??!!

Surrendering To Humility
Jeremiah went back to public school last week. We had been homeschooling since August. The challenges of being a single parent were great enough before homeschooling - what was I thinking??!! The truth was, I was not able to do a better job than the school at meeting this amazing beings educational needs. I kept surrendering this and other pressurized components of my life in daily prayer. We performed an original, musical play, Christmas Spirit, with the homeschoolers Sat and Mon and he was back in public school on Tuesday! The week before I was a wreck of stress and Jeremiah and I kept talking and praying about what was best. We were both on the fence and even the indecision was beginning to take its toll. He was crying way too often - like when he missed a word on a spelling test - and not just crying but crumbling. In fact, we were both crumbling. Looking back, my angels must of been saying, "And you can't decide ... why?" I'm sure there was some ego involved of having to admit being "wrong" but I really think it was something we absolutely had to try for many reasons, not the least of which was to be more fully able to accept and appreciate the good that was there for him at the school all along. His teacher last year had a 1st/2nd combo last year and a straight 2nd this year so he was placed back in her room. The night before I went to the school with the paperwork, I saw this teacher in a dream; she was on the other side of the fence smiling, waving, beckoning, yes, it would be alright! When I turned in the paperwork, she (divinely) happened by the office with her student teacher who she introduced me to and told her about Jeremiah. It made my heart sing to hear her describe him - she did know him and love him! Of course. As I walked away from the school, I truly felt the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders! And in the first few days back, I felt such a shift in Jeremiah's energy too! Whew! So no regrets or judgments. We had an important journey with the homeschoolers; we did the play, I published 8 of their e books, Jeremiah and I experienced depths of our relationship we wouldn't otherwise .... I got to really, really, really surrender to humility. We are back to our early morning walks to school (a good 20-25 min. each way) and we are back to a level of joy that had somehow turned up missing in a sea of stress. It really is ok to surrender, to be humbled, to go back with new eyes and an open heart. Thank you God!

I also can comment that my lessons in surrender and humility don't stop with homeschool; they are kinda across the board right now. I'd like to comment on the Christmas CD because I feel if you're reading this, your heart is with me and I'd like to share some heart and thought on this. Birthing this CD was so huge - listening and following angel guidance and given all the other circumstances in my life - financial and otherwise - I really thought I heard the strong voice of Spirit instructing me to do this and I mostly joyfully said yes, yes, yes. I then somehow heard the yes turn to why? It is something I am still sorting through as the CD trickles out ... I must humbly admit that I thought it should somehow make a bigger splash, that it would be a welcome voice in the New Thought movement, that it would at least pay for itself. Ministers and churches I thought would welcome it, turned a deaf ear or voice. I'm not sure there's much place for it outside the New Thought community. My brother, a devout Catholic kindly commented that he appreciated the work that went into it but he, of course, couldn't abide by the lyrics. Sooooooooo, I am left healing my ego and finances in other ways .... knowing there's so much I do not know. Appreciating - truly- the trickle that is there .... a church in San Antonio, TX says they are singing 2 of the songs in their youth production. The CD went to Canada, it's linked on a UK web page. The beautiful children from SLC that have been practicing with their CDS. We will joyfully be sharing these songs this weekend in 3 settings, connecting, really connecting with the Christ Light in people sharing these songs and this joy. When we sang at the Unity in Minden, NV, people were really touched. When I sang What Child Is This?, people - men- cried and 1 man talked about it with me afterwards. That kind of blessing hadn't surfaced for me before so what an honor. Thank you God. I guess it's just my ego that thought something else should happen that didn't. And as I heard in my meditation the other day, "If you knew this was the outcome, would you have done it?" My answer was no even though I know it was my Divine Appointment to make this CD. It may grow and grow for seasons to come in ways I cannot begin to fathom now. I continue to surrender and continually realign with the joy and blessings that this CD is bringing us now and is bringing and singing those who are called to it ... and thank you (Christmas) angels - you are awesome!! I will keep thinking those Christmas thoughts of infinite possibilities ...!!!

Black Friday: Shopping Spree For The Soul

I AM
When a friend innocently asked by e mail, "How are you?", it prompted this:

What is the most powerful three word phrase I know? Well, sure, "I love you" is always good but this phrase goes way beyond that. Probably because the first word in "I love you" is "I" and the first word in the power phrase I am referring to is "God". Big difference. I have found this simple three word phrase is an amazing key to love, peace, forgiveness, surrender, compassion, kindness, release and subsequent freedom. It is a phrase that brings peace and harmony to me as I think or utter it and it brings varying, immeasurable degrees of harmony to others as well. A simple phrase, a simple prayer ...
God Bless You.

I have been verbally and (mostly) silently "God Blessing" people for decades but just recently have come to study and appreciate the wonder of this practice and the empowerment of these three words. While participating in Spiritual Life Center's Faith In Action series this fall, the book of study has been Easwaran's "Strength In The Storm" in which he posits using a mantram. Even though "God Bless You" wasn't an official, suggested mantram, it surfaced for me as the most useful tool I could use at this time. And in using it and watching the results, I have been amazed.

In general, this practice, like so many, had varying degrees of ease of usage. Most readily accessible when dealing with strangers in public situations that were for the most part passing, I would silently "God Bless You" to people who seemed in need, people who in some way caught my attention or distracted me, and I most effectively employed it to stop judgemental observations I hate to admit having. You know, things like "She's too heavy to wear those jeans." "God Bless You." End of negative observation; page turned, Love restored. I also found great relief from wanderings into the past or wonderings into the future; "God Bless You" brought me right into the moment - as any good mantram would! More challenging in the moment, was to remember to "God Bless You" those closer to me, especially if a button was being pushed. And finally, there has been a deepening of the practice to "God Bless" me for a myriad of judgements or self defeating thoughts ... everything from "I'm too heavy to wear these jeans" to "Who am I to __________" or "No one cares if I_______" ... lots of fill in the blanks there. "God Bless me." Ah, get a grip.

From deepening my practice of this grace filled response to myself and others, I identified the presence of some of the greatest spiritual virtues. So here are the following observations to "God Bless You" as an amazing key to :

Love. "God Bless You" as a mental response to thoughts of others or self always brings me to a place of Love. I suspect that this piece would be the same with just the word "God" which is synonymous for me with Love. At first utterance, the physical and emotional shift in me could be felt and sometimes it was also noticible in others. Acceptance reigned. Judgements easily melted away for it has been well documented, you simply cannot judge and love at the same time.

Peace. The stated purpose for using a mantram is to be unshakeable peace. I really experienced more peace and calm from using "God Bless You" as a response to myself and others. The shift noted above was dramatically felt in my body sometimes and even detectable in others at times. I was in the supermarket and made a left at the end of an aisle while looking right resulting in bumping carts with an elderly man. I immediately apologized as he huffed and verbally "humfped" at me. I thought "Excuse me!" Breath.
"God Bless You." Instant relaxation flooded my body as I instinctively turned back to look at the man who was whirling around to look at me as if I had called his name. I had. And he felt it. God Bless You.

Forgiveness. I also experienced "God Bless You" as forgiveness. When thinking of the past, in particular, a person, situation, action or lack of action on their or my part, I respond, "God Bless You." It just seemed to bring the natural response of forgiveness as an integral piece of the peace and the giving it to God.

Surrender. In saying "God Bless You", you are giving it, them, you, whoever, whatever to God. The sense of peace and Love come from the presence of God. By calling on Spirit, it is a surrender. And in surrender, lies the grace of peace and the simplicity of acceptance.

Compassion. "God Bless You" is a compassionate response which is again, devoid of judgement. The Love and peace of God is felt as the comfort of compassion. I have felt the divinity of compassion at varying levels using this mantram and I know others have felt it too even if they didn't call it compassion. I'm not sure what the man in the supermarket would call it!

Kindness. Another facet of "God Bless You" is kindness. While compassion allows for another's trials, point of view, etc., kindness does the same but not necessarily. You can bestow a kind thought like "God Bless You" on anyone at anytime whether you have an observation or judgement of them or not. In looking at mantrams and how they invoke peace within the one using them as well as a ripple of peace with those in the vicinity, I especially appreciate the added kindness effect of "God Bless You" because it truly asks for a blessing on another. "God Bless You" can be a pointed or a truly random act of kindness.

Freedom. As noted in Surrender, there is a great release that comes with "God Bless You". In every situation, the Love and peace of this prayer comes on the wings of freedom. Perhaps there is no greater freedom than to release judgement & negativity on any level. Thoughts are things. So putting this thought of "God Bless You" in place for myself and others has brought me increased freedom and peace in being the Love I am created to be. Thank you God!

Respond to "God Bless You"

The Face Of Grace
Well, here comes another birthday and for some reason, I tend to get very challenged by this official marking of time. I know it's the judgement monster barking at age and the milestones not reached at my middle age. I also know the only real enemy of age - or life for that matter!- is resistance. To age gracefully is beauty in action. I want to flow beautifully and gracefully with life at any age and sometimes that is effortless and at other times, challenging at best. This year, I have most of the same challenges as a year ago compounded by the judgement that certainly I coulda, shoulda, woulda changed these realities in the last 365 days - especially since I know The Secret! There is definitely a softer, more tender, loving, compassionate and humorous side of me in all of this, stronger and more present than last year. Which is a great thing. Especially because this year ... just in this last month ... I have developed (gasp) wrinkles ... lines that were not there before have suddenly appeared. I have taken an informal poll and found that others have had this experience of just waking up one day and finding the lines in the face looking back at them in the mirror. For me, I was just getting to a new depth of self acceptance when, whamo! Accept that! Actually, I am mostly at peace with it knowing that surely there will be a day when I will look back at this face and think it quite youthful and beautiful at this age. My work is to find it beautiful now, no matter what physical form I see in the mirror, to see past it into the window of my soul and to see that soul shining through. I often start the day by singing "Face Of God" to myself in the mirror. When I'm feeling extra courageous, I do a naked, full body version. Whew! Self acceptance can be so hard sometimes. And for me, this just escalates around my birthday. I'm actually pretty peaceful about it all this year but then again, there are still 6 days to the official day (hee hee) and I'm given to hormonal swings these days that can leave the feelings reeling while the Spiritual me calmly looks on and does it's best to be cheerleader. Still and all, this year, I am so much better even with hormones and wrinkles and I think it is in large part due to the fact I have been listening to me loving me every morning for about the last month. I wrote up a loving speech to myself, holding space for my dreams, believing in me and encouraging me. The Christmas music was playing in the background as the new CD was still in the balance of being finished at the time I recorded this"Love Talk" to myself. Listening to the sound of my loving, accepting, enouraging voice as part of my morning practice has truly brought me to new levels of self love and acceptance.

Grace is ever present; we only have to allow it. I know there are more wrinkles to come on this journey of life. I vow to wear them beautifully. Happy Birthday to me.

Respond to "Face Of Grace"

Vision For New Thought Families

Did you ever feel called to something that absolutely didn't make logistic or realistic sense? I guess that's vision. Because if it makes perfect sense, it is something either already in place or something that everybody immediately says yes to. Vision. Someone has to say yes and then It either plays out to the calling, or more often develops as it will according to a greater vision we can only glimpse in part. And so it is with New Thought Families. What is developing through me and no doubt, through others in various ways is part of awakening consciousness and the effort to have children and families in the center of this awakening.

What started for me as a website of expression for spirituality keeps growing in my mind and heart. And at the heart of my vision for New Thought Families is community. Family is a place to call home. Church is often home for spiritual family. I see church like feel good experiences with children and families at the center and not segregated and so for now, I offer Community Circles and Family Retreats. The reality is that folks will vote with their feet and show up for these events or not. It is also true that even if they don't show up, that doesn't mean that at least some part of them resonates with the vision and their desire for extended family and community. I only know that if I feel called, I will say yes. Beyond that, I am a student in this school of life seeking to know what it takes to manifest vision.

Also integral to my vision for New Thought Familes is to produce media experiences that have global potential to touch minds and hearts. There is no better tool for this - beyond quantum energy - than the internet. So here we are as a .com. My current reality in all of this is that my vision far exceeds my abilities. I dabble in some available resources while I probably squander far too much precious time trying to figure out things like UTube videos. I do know that music, voice, pictures, media has the capacity to touch the soul and I want to add to the positive voice that is possible and that calls to me.

I do wonder a lot from my often one room school; do I dream alone? Surely not. So how do I align with others? How can we co-create New Thought Broadcasting? Is this work - my work - best done one on one in a church home? In this, as in all things, I pray daily for clarity and guidance. I would love to hear from any of you about what you may think of the concept of New Thought Families and/or anything else said here. Take a look at our Vision page ... How do you see yourself as part of the 11%? What do you think of the great Mary Manin Morrissey and what she had with New Thought Broadcasting? Thanks for being here in thought, prayer, response ... Namaste and great dreams to all ...

Respond to "Vision For New Thought Families"